You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
