She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
