Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
