SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
