The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
