That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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