yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
