that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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