think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
