How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
