so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
