I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
