i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
