I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize