I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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