Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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