And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
