I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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