Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize