How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
