It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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