At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
