I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
