so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
