I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
