Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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