So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
