i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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