We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
