Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
