WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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