How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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