a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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