i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
