butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
