She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
