KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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