The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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