well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
