He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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