I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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