Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
