at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
