good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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