on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
