i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize