Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
