I wish my penis had an off switch
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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