hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
