Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
