I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
