Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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