If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
