how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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