Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize