just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
