so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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