it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
