At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he was CRYING into my vagina
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
