super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
