it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
