This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize