I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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