well I can't set my house on fire every night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
