just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
