i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
